Friday, April 7, 2023

A Foolproof Dating Ad by Skaja Evens


Let me show you this fish I caught
Because I like to fish 
And will want you to care about that
Because I can feed you

But I’m only here for no-strings fun

Because my wife isn’t interested in me anymore

And I’d rather cheat on her than get a divorce

Let me promise to share photos of my face

After you send me a message

And also because I have a public job; I must be discreet

By the way

Are you a kinky submissive?

Then you must address me as Sir Domlydom

And cater to my every whim

Can’t wait to meet you!

Skaja Evens is a writer and artist existing in SE Virginia. She has spent far too many hours swiping through Tinder profiles, and insists the subsequent eye rolling ought to count as cardio.

Today, she completed another circumnavigational sun trip, and celebrated by binge watching Daria and eating ice cream.